FRONT PAGE

LOCAL NEWS:
   Cole Speaks
   DODA
   Outdoor Rec.
   New TV Show
  
  
FEATURES:
   Allergies
   Mutism
  
 NATIONAL:
  Bush
  Bush Poll

INTERNATIONAL:
   Sudan
   Divestment

BLOGS:
   Matt
   JAKE
   SEAN
   TOM

HISTORY:
   Cold War
  


PROFS
   AS PEOPLE

READERS' RIDES

CALENDAR

INTERACTIVE
   NARRATIVES

CONTACT US
 

Chuck Norris returns!

by Matthew Descoteau
Senior Staff Editor

     It has come to my attention that over the past few months there has been a rise in the Chuck Norris fan club.  Don’t worry, for we know where and how this began.  The blame goes to NBC.  See a while back they thought it’d be a great idea to buy out the USA network.  From there after a few too many late nights of no material, the Conan O’Brien show decided to start playing "Walker, Texas Ranger" clips because, well, they could.  And people went nuts.  I’ll admit I never noticed how corny the show was until I was watching Conan one night and saw a string of these clips. 

     The momentum shifted in the Chuck Norris corner and he came out swinging.  Now people are thinking back deep into their memory banks to remember what it was like to remember Chuck Norris.  (For all of you youngins out there, he is a master of martial arts, was on a crappy ranger show, and is the spokesperson of the "Total Gym").  Now we all thought he had simply disappeared.  But we were wrong. He’s now come back and given the word a round-house kick to the face!  Much like the days of not being able to go five minutes without hearing a "Napoleon Dynomite" quote, we now have Chuck Norris’isms.  Yes I just created that word. 

     While walking around campus it may not be uncommon to hear the phrase "They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem—It wouldn’t take s**t from anybody."  Or perhaps "Chuck Norris invented blogging in 1974 in order to keep track of people he roundhouse kicked to the face."  And even "Chuck Norris showers with AJAX but no water."  I also noticed with the recent elections, one candidate used Chuck “facts” on his flyer to help gain popularity. 

     I’m not quite sure how I feel about this whole fad right now.  On one hand, I laugh when I read these little “facts”.  On the other, I just feel bad for the guy because this is what his career has come to.  Don’t worry though, no matter what, we’ll always have the memories.  But if you cry—Chuck Norris will kick you in the face and then laugh.   

For more information about the Chuck Norris phenomenon, go to this awesome website I found:  chucknorrisfacts.com