"Mom go to bed!" Arikka Knights said as she came in the door from a long day at work. "What are you doing up so late?" Wanda Knights was busy on the computer taking care of Arikka's loans for school. Arikka couldn't understand why.  It was past midnight of June 23rd, Arikka's birthday, and Butch Knights (Arikka's father) was also awake, which was unusually late for the both of them.

     Arikka knew her mom had been sick lately with headaches, sore gums and fatigue and that Wanda had finally gone to the doctor the day before where she found out that her white blood cell count was low.  Arikka also knew that Wanda's blood tests had been sent to the Bangor hospital. Arikka was concerned for her mother's health. I am no doctor, Arikka thought, but she knew something was wrong and it worried her all day at work.

     Wanda and Butch walked into the kitchen.  "Arikka come here for a minute," they said.  Wanda Jean Knights had been diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia; they told her it was the disease of the bone marrow, the organ that produces the body's blood cells.  This doesn't make any sense Arikka thought, my mom is the most fit and healthy forty-nine year old I know. She works out every day and is in better shape than me!  Even the nurse's at the hospital couldn't believe she was "that" old.
    
     Wanda Jean Knights passed away on July 17^th, 2006.  Instead of celebrating her twentieth birthday, Arikka spent it in Bangor hospital starting at seven a.m. while Wanda had a bone marrow tap. "Missing you with all my heart * 3/2/57-9/17/06 * my best friend, my hero, my Mom * You are to me the greatest love of all," is what it reads on Arikka's Aol Instant Messenger profile. "She's my best friend," Arikka says of her mom.  "I would call her at least like six, seven, eight times a day just to tell her random stuff. Like it's creepy how much we're alike. I can't even count how many times we've said the same exact thing," Arikka said with excitement in her voice.

     Wanda introduced her daughter at the age of five to the beauty pageant life and Arikka started competing.  "My mom was always shy growing up and she didn't want me to be like that." Arikka enjoyed the pageants immensely, she learned a lot about herself and it gave her confidence and excellent public speaking skills. Above all else it taught Arikka to go after her dreams.  She hasn't kept track how many pageants she's competed in but she does remember and that stood out the most was in 1998 when she won the Miss Maine National Pre-teen.

     A lot of work goes into preparing for a pageant. This preparation she described was her "bonding time" with her mother. "It was something me and mom always did together!" Arikka said with a reminiscing smile. To train in high school and recently in college on the summer breaks Arikka's mother drove her every single day to dance class, a two hour commute; four hours total, there was a lot to be conversed about, this made their mother and daughter bond very close. Wanda was dedicated to Arikka's. "She was my main motivator," said Arikka. "If I was ever slacking she would always say ‘Now Arikka, if you really want this, you have to work at it."  

     This year Arikka is preparing for the Miss Maine America.  However this year is different.  She will be doing it alone.  In past years her pageant platform has been to spread awareness on community service programs with senior citizens, however, this year she will focus on Myelogenous Leukemia. "I know this is what she wants me to do," Arikka said happily.  "It will be difficult but I have plenty of friends to help me through."   Arikka loves to talk about Wanda because it makes it easier. Wanda's sister, niece and Arikka got tattoos to remember her by. Inscribed on the inside of Arikka's right ankle is the outline of a black cat, (because Wanda was "obsessed" with them), a tiny red heart and the signature words mom, just the way Wanda would have signed it.  Arikka always carries a smile on her face when she remembers her mother. 

     Suzanne Kowalski one of Arikka's best friends at school and roommate commends Arikka on her strength and determination.  "She is one of the strongest people I know for going through all the pain and still managing to face everyday with a smile," said Kowalski.

     "Being on the Miss America stage has always been a dream of mine since I can remember," said Arikka.  Wanda told her best friend Marcel before she died that she wasn't afraid of dying, but what she feared the most was missing out on Arikka's life, seeing her graduate--doing great things with her life.  This June 8^th and 9^th, 2007 will mark almost a year since Wanda has been gone and will also be the days that Arikka will compete for Miss Maine America. And this year instead of by her side her mother will be in her heart.