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Relationship advice: break ups

by Christiana Amesquita
Exchange Staff

Hello, my name is Christiana Amesquita and I am a serial dater. I guess you could also say a serial "breaker uper" as well. But I think this qualifies me well enough to share some advice I've picked up about those down in the dump times, break ups.

So you've gotten to the point, that I like to call, "point of no return," and you're just waiting for the talk, that will eventually end in tears, maybe a few cuss words, and an overall heart crushing fest, that nobody wants to attend. Know this, it's either going to hurt or be one huge blessing in disguise.

If you're crushed, you have to set aside some time to grieve. The transition from being a couple to single can be pretty tough, especially if you're coming out of a long term relationship. Giving yourself space and time to really get use to this new atmosphere is so important, because it's that time you need to really think about yourself and may be some things you've been putting off. This is your "you" time! Take full advantage of your new found freedom and relax and get use to these new parameters.

For whatever reason the relationship goes sour and you find yourself feeling like a bitter broad or dude, try to realize that even the worst relationships leave you with some kind of new found wisdom. If anything, learning to never trust a drunk player of a boyfriend with your slutty shady best friend, that ends in you opening the door to your bedroom and finding one huge nightmare is worth it. Ask your self this, "Will you ever let that happen to you again?" Probably not.

Now if you're planning on drowning your sorrows in alcohol and you feel the sudden urge to call your ex, with all your being, restrain, restrain, restrain! Or at least have a buddy with you to hold you back. Calling is going to do you no good. Your ex can't help you fix anything, and they can't make you feel better. Try to not talk to your ex for at least sixty days. Giving yourself time to have some clarity about the situation you just went through will help you to get to the bottom of how you really feel. Plus it can only get more complicated talking to an ex you still care about.

Break ups can leave you feeling like a failure, but just know that you tried and it's only a matter of time until you feel put back together again. If you want to read some more tips and advice, here's a great website: The Smart girl's break up guide.